Christmas is here! The trees, decorations, and yuletide spirit are everywhere this time of year. On the 25th of December the NBA will be unwrapping some presents that frankly should have a sticker that reads “Do not open ever”! That’s right, the NBA has established a new merry tradition that is the equivalent to the gifting of a holiday fruitcake. Nobody wants it, but we get it anyways. Talk about a mess. The NBA has tried to establish Christmas day as it’s own holiday. What I mean by this is that football has Thanksgiving, so naturally the NBA wanted it’s own holiday in the spotlight, in this case Christmas. Now the NBA has five games for 2013 and like all great Christmases decided it needed its own traditions. However, whoever came up with this idea should receive a mountain of coal for Christmas.
The NBA has made it a tradition to wear new uniforms on Christmas day. Last year I thought the NBA couldn’t do worse than hideous one color uniforms with just outlines of the team’s name. Well one thing I can say about the NBA is that it never ceases to surprise me. When the new uniforms were revealed I laughed thinking oh they must have gotten the pictures mixed up. Those are ten-dollar t-shirts from the gift shop. Boy was I wrong. Ok are you sitting down? Because I am about to go on a rant about these eyesores.
Where to begin? Hmm let me see I know I’ll start of with the sleeves. Why do you need sleeves in the NBA? You play indoors! Why do you guys need freaking sleeves are you really that cold inside an NBA arena? Come on these aren’t NFL linemen who have rolls of arm fat or baseball players trying to avoid the sun. If it was just the sleeves on awesome uniforms I could give these a pass, but it’s more than just the sleeves.
Next it’s the colors. True these colors are not as terrible as last years, but certain team colors don’t make sense. The Lakers, who have a great white home uniform, don’t need a white Christmas jersey. They have purple and gold. Where is it? The Knicks, for the love of god stop wearing all orange. First this isn’t Halloween, and second you look like a bunch of pumpkins. If there was more blue then maybe, but these uniforms are just plain orange. The Knicks chant should be no new york no new york no. The spurs plain grey? or the Rockets all red? Come on guys I bet a five-year old could come up with something better. Sure the colors are bad, but it’s also that these uniforms are just one color. There are no accent or secondary colors to add some details to these uniforms. Even minor accent colors or designs would offset the main colors nicely. However, with just one color except for around the collar and sleeves. Without these other colors these jerseys just look like plain t-shirts from the NBA store that I could easily buy.
The final nail in this uniform coffin has to be the logos. These are the worst logos on a uniform I have ever seen. Sure they are the team’s regular logos, which are great, but for some reason they thought forget the script or original let’s put a giant silver logo on the chest. Come on why silver? Are you just trying to put a bullseye on what makes these jerseys awful. Sure it looks good on the Nets jersey, but who else has silver in their color palette? These look like metallic versions of each logo. It as if they decided let’s put a futuristic logo on the plainest jersey possible. That makes no sense.
In conclusion the only good thing these jerseys have given us is this fantastic commercial (link here). Other than that these uniforms are just an awful representation of the NBA. Come on these look like pajamas. Hey maybe that’s what they were going for the pajama Christmas morning look. If not for the so-called “Christmas morning pajama look” these uniforms are some of the worst to ever be presented on the hardwood. Maybe Santa will make a last-minute stop and give these teams new uniforms, unfortunately I think he’s a little too busy. Dear NBA, please get new Christmas uniforms next year. Heck, do green and red uniforms. Those would be better than these atrocities. Either way let’s hope the NBA delivers on Christmas. Happy Holidays!