If it’s broken, it needs fixing: teams that are desperately in need of a makeover

Ah yes fashion, where styles come and go so fast that most people feel way behind. Sports is intriguing because some fashion choices stay eternal. The iconic sweaters and logos of the Original Six in the NHL, the pinstripes of the New York Yankees, the yellow and purple of the L.A. Lakers, and the silver and black of the Raiders. Some teams never need to change their iconic logos and superb jerseys. However, there are some teams that desperately need to update their look. You just look at them and go geez what the heck are they wearing. Here is my list of ten teams that need a makeover.

1) The Phoenix Suns:

I need aloe vera! these jerseys burn my eyes!
I need aloe vera! these jerseys burn my eyes!

Wow I think Willy Wonka let the ompa lompas out. The Suns have never had great uniforms and have gone through many different logos, colors, and uniforms in their history. However, no matter what they do nothing seems to work. I get orange should be incorporated with the uniforms but not as an Orange and Grey eyesore. I know that the Suns have a difficult mascot to work with but I feel that their logo and jersey defiantly is in need of an overhaul. Players look like giant pumpkins isn’t intimidating and I don’t get who the jerseys are so different. Home is white with primarily purple highlights and only a little orange. The road jerseys are all orange and grey with no purple. Guys I understand you want to mix it up but please have a little consistency. I think that the best move for the Suns is to have simpler uniforms without these colors clashing and should try to update their logo. Also pick what colors your going to be and stick with them. If you want to be purple be purple if you want to be orange be orange make up your mind!!!

2) Miami Marlins:

Can we stop trying to copy the U please?
Can we stop trying to copy the U please?

Ok I know that orange is popular because of the Hurricanes and Dolphins but that doesn’t mean you have to wear it to! Just because you’re the Miami Marlins now doesn’t mean you copy the colors of the two other teams in town with orange and coral blue. These jerseys are an eyesore and while at first I thought they were kinda cool that novelty wore off faster than Miami traded away their team this offseason. Maybe the orange is appropriate for the fire sale they’re having on South Beach. I give Miami credit for trying something new but seriously guys when if I have to ask id that is a Marlin on your hat then you probably did it wrong. These jerseys are new but I do think these need to go to. Hey maybe the Marlins will trade their uniforms next!

3) Milwaukee Brewers:

Get the Dolorean! time to go back in time
Get the DeLorean! time to go back in time

This is a different one. While the new Brewers uniforms aren’t bad, I’d love to see them go back to their old uniforms full-time. The classic Brewers uniforms are sharp and are perfect with most teams going to “more retro” uniforms. The lighter blue and yellow with the old school block lettering is reminiscent of great baseball uniforms of the past. The Brewers should follow this fashion trend of bringing back vintage looks because it will also bring back one of the most iconic logos in baseball, the glove and ball Brewer logo. While the new uniforms and logo aren’t terrible, I think most of the Brew Crew and their fans would accept these classics once again.

4) New England Patriots:

Pat the Patriot needs to replace the Elvis Patriot
Pat the Patriot needs to replace the Elvis Patriot

Another case of bringing back the old school. Ok Jet fans I know you hate the Patriots like I do, but even you have to admit these are pretty sweet duds. These are patriotic red, white, and blue instead of the current blue and silver color combination the Patriots wear now. These jerseys are bold and colorful and make a statement that this is an American team. Also these uniforms would bring back the fabled Pat the Patriot mascot. Hmmmm do I want a tough and gritty patriot hiking a football in a three-point stance, or the patriot that looks like a cheesy rip off of Elvis. The new uniforms also don’t make sense. I hate there is barely any red and the overuse of silver. Lets make this clear there is only one team that can and should were silver in the NFL and that is the Silver and Black of the Raiders. While I do hate the Patriots seeing them in these uniforms would make them a little easier to stomach when Tom Brady torches your team’s secondary.

 

 

5) Tennessee Titans:

old Oilers + new Titans= bad uniforms
old Oilers + new Titans= bad uniforms

These uniforms are trying to do too much. They try to mix a new team and design with the classic colors of the Houston Oilers. The result is a confusing combination of blues and white that just look like they can’t agree. This franchise is trying modernize the old Oilers jerseys instead of creating their own identity. With different shades of blues in different and odd combinations makes these uniforms an eyesore and confusing. On top of that the logo just never seems to fit in especially with all the red when there is no red in the uniforms. I think this is one NFL franchise that should go back to the drawing board and instead of trying to recreate an identity just create their own unique logo and uniforms.

6) San Diego Chargers

San Diego needs to embrace their best look
San Diego needs to embrace their best look

Most football fans agree that the Chargers powder blues are one of if not the best uniforms in the game. But here’s my question, why the heck aren’t they wearing them??? These beauties are currently the alternates to the main navy colored jerseys which have been the primary colored jerseys since 1973. Why the Chargers took the best uniform in the game and put it as an alternate I will never know. I am sick of seeing the dark blue charger uniforms and would love to see these babies full-time. The chargers need to embrace their best look because it is the perfect color for San Diego. It’s cool, laid back, and easy-going just like the people of San Diego. Heck if I was the Chargers I would petition the commissioner to wear these uniforms all the time. Can the fans of San Diego petition to make these uniforms the primary home uniforms. I’ll say it again these are my favorite uniforms in the league please wear them!!!

 

7) Dallas Stars:

Less is more except if your the Stars
Less is more except if your the Stars

Talk about vanilla. While simpler is usually better for Dallas the Stars jerseys are terrible. They took a great jersey in the nineties with the star shape around the bottom of the jerseys and a good logo off their uniforms. Now all that’s left is Dallas, green stripes, and numbers in the front. YYYYAAAAAWWWWWNNNNNN. The Stars need a new uniform and possibly logo. While to logo isn’t bad it could use some upgrading. This is Texas things are supposed to be bigger and better not quieter and simpler. Dallas needs to embrace their inner Texan and get rid of these pathetic jerseys.

8) Anaheim Ducks

The word Ducks across the chest really original
The word Ducks across the chest really original

Ah yes the Anaheim Ducks. A franchise notorious for hideous jerseys. While their new third jerseys are an improvement the main jersey with the word “Ducks” across the Chest is boring. Not to mention the gold with black combination which should look cool looks pretty weak. My suggestion is to combine the jerseys and logos of the past. Use the classic duck mask, or Wild Wing logo, with the double hockey sticks that the Mighty Ducks franchise made famous with their Disney movies. Then use this old logo with the new black and orange color schemes. Also if the could combine it with the diagonal stripe of the original jersey, then the Ducks could have one of the best looking jerseys in the game.

9) Carolina Hurricanes:

Wow I wish the Whalers were still here
Wow I wish the Whalers were still here

To think this used to be a franchise with one of the best logos and uniforms in hockey. But alas the Whalers are gone and now they are the hurricanes. First off the logo is weak a red and black circle really intimidating. Looks more like a tropical storm then a hurricane. Also the uniforms with red white and blacks fighting with each other makes it a very confusing look. I love the secondary logo on the shoulder and the third jersey. It combines the Carolina triangle, a hockey stick, and a flag in a hurricane to make a simple yet cool logo. The third jerseys that are black with this logo are great and I wish they would switch to these babies full-time and make a white version with it. Those would make the Hurricanes look cool and not like there is a giant red and black eye on their chest.

10) Washington Wizards:

Bullets + Wizards = red, white, and blah
Bullets + Wizards = red, white, and blah

Like the Titans earlier in the list the Wizards have tried to combine two teams into one. Bad idea taking an already weak logo and name and bring to combine it with the historical Bullets jerseys creates this star-spangled screamer. While I do commend them for actually using red white and blue instead of gold and blue the old combination of the old uniforms and logo are just a mess. While these are retro uniforms, sometimes simpler is better. Look at the Nets and Knicks they changed to simpler uniforms and look great. While I think they are going in the right direction, these uniforms are defiantly the elephant in the room, not Republicans, when it comes to the city’s sports teams. While at first they were cool now they need an upgrade. Also the Wizards logo of the wizard and basketball has been weak and outdated for years. This is another team that needs to update their mascot or find a new one. Instead of Wizards rename the team, like in New Orleans, to something more appropriate. Names like Eagles, or Diplomats could be possibilities.

Do you agree with my list? Any teams you think I left out or think I was wrong about? Please feel free to comment below and tell me what you think. Don’t forget to email me or write in the comments section about what you would like me to write about next. Thanks and have a great day!

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